Now where did I place my confidence?

Okay I have a confession. I don’t enjoy jumping…there I said it! Maybe I lack the right mindset but there is simply more relief than anything else when I cross a jump. Perhaps it is just that I can’t seem to have a lesson where something ridiculous doesn’t happen …oh and of course the fact that I have cried in 2 of my last 5 lessons doesn’t help. Honestly for a 32 year old woman to be crying at horse riding seems totally daft/pathetic.

Last Wednesday I had a crap lesson. It didn’t go well and afterwards my instructor spent twenty minutes chatting to me about. She kept trying to get me to understand I am not the most horrendous rider that ever was. The following day I Googled for some articles on improving confidence and basically they said the same thing as my instructor – focus on the positives! So here are my list of positives from Wednesday when I rode P and Sunday when I rode Tx.

  • I got beautiful flowing canters from P
  • We did some lovely pole work on a diagonal line ending with a lovely transition into canter
  • I was very balanced on P
  • P obeyed all my commands very nicely (even when I thought he was out of control, turns out I asked him to do it – d’oh)
  • P was very good when I reluctantly took him over the poles again, trotting carefully
  • Tx responded great guns to me on Sunday
  • Tx straightened when I asked him to while in forward seat
  • We had a lovely canter transition even if we did miss a corner
  • Tx and I only did one jump but it was a belter, he cantered in, cleared it beautifully and I was balanced!

On Sunday I was a little freaked out immediately after the jump but actually now I am chuffed and glad I only did the one jump. I hope it has boosted my confidence a little. I thought one good jump was worth more than doing three and messing the others ones up and feeling down again.

Tx got a big fuss made of him. I do believe that pony figures out what I need from him before I do 🙂

On a different note if anyone does have any tips for me with my confidence issues they would be greatly received!

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2 thoughts on “Now where did I place my confidence?”

  1. I am sorry that you’re having trouble with your confidence! The only advice I have to offer, really, is to stick with it; I guess my struggles with plain old cantering in the school are testament to how daunting things that come easily after a lot of practice can seem very daunting to begin with, and for quite some time thereafter. I have no idea what it’s going to be like for me when I go back after this break!

    I think it’s great that you’re focussing on the positives from your lessons, that seems a really good approach to take. I wouldn’t for one moment beat yourself up for crying in your lessons, though; I’ve come dead close to it a number of times myself so I have a pretty good idea of how embarrassing it is, but from that I also know that letting your pride get the better of you doesn’t help you to feel any better about the whole process.

    1. Thanks for this comment, it really helps. You will be fine when you go back, you will be so happy to be back in the saddle I think your confidence will grow!
      Yeah the crying thing isn’t great, in fact it is pretty annoying but hey worse things happen and I totally agree, I just need to deal with it and move on – after all when I think about it the amount of times I have been in tears of laughter or smiling ear to ear from riding massively outweigh the frustration/nerves tears!
      Hope you are back in the saddle soon.

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