This blog is called The Inelegant Horse Rider for a reason and that’s because I do horse ride! By the time you read this I will be on holiday in Ireland practising jumping and hopefully doing a jump or two in a row (my own small goal for the return visit to AnnaHarvey Farm). Over the last few weeks I have had some difficulties in my lessons twice being in tears and feeling incredibly frustrated with myself. Now I can safely say that an element of these episodes has been influenced by my stress levels being through the roof at my work. My lessons are after work during the week and while they definitely help me destress I also think my emotions are sometimes close to breaking when I get there. More on stress and how I am trying to manage it in a later post. Anyway, in one lesson I jumped off the horse in tears and refused to do anymore. It stemmed from the fact that once again I had failed to get the horse to canter when I wanted. It feels as though this has become a trigger for me beating myself as a rider, I have considered quitting the whole hobby after a previous lesson due to this.
In the lesson where I had jumped off my instructor Claire did manage to talk me round and got me back on (incidentally I managed to mount a moving horse from the ground – I was pretty chuffed with that, felt like someone from a cowboy film 🙂 ). I was determined I would only trot, maybe removing the expectation that I would fail to get canter would help. Well of course it did. 5 minutes later I was cantering and then…I did some jumps. Admittedly two times my horse simply trotted over the jump while I sat in jump position determinedly not looking down. Honestly I had strange staring contest going on with the wall at the far end of the school, I was looking very serious. Then on the last go at the jump Gem (the lovely horse I was riding) seemed to back off approaching the jump, without thinking the age-old jumping mentality kicked in and I pushed her on meaning we jumped and landed in canter! Wow – what a horse! I was grinning about that one. I also had my mate Gemma in that lesson and I think watching someone enjoy jumping, laughing as they do it, really does help inspire me. The following
week I jumped again (and again and again) which was great fun although I am still finding it tough and we are keeping in trot just now. I fancy trying in canter as if my memory serves it is much smoother. Actually famous last words there but hopefully in Ireland I can try cantering into jumps.
As for hacking that has been fun and pretty daft. I have been riding with the girls again, now on a more regular basis, and I am loving it. The wonderful idiot that is Bibi has been helping me grow my confidence and I am asking for other horses again. This weekend just past I rode Flame again and although I was nervous I cantered in the stubble fields and absolutely loved it. I took it steady as my previous experiences in stubble fields have always been very, very fast and I wanted to build my confidence in a new place. I let my friends canter separately while I opted to go just with the leader – she was brilliant with my nerves. After watching my mates I decided I wanted to go in the fields so we did a lovely canter up to them, Flame seemed to constantly check I was okay but next time I will let the old dude fly. On the second canter stretch I got a little nervous again thinking it looked like a racing strip but I needn’t have worried, myself and the leader walked and trotted down it then I asked if we could have a little canter? The leader agreed so I kicked on then as she shouted I realised she hadn’t been ready to go! I felt a bit bad on that front, she was fine and we laughed about it as my friends cantered up the field to join us. Mates, sunshine, laughter and horses – a perfect Sunday afternoon. We were only missing our 4th musketeer but we are all riding together on the 30th 🙂
I won’t lie I am a little worried about Ireland this time around, my nerves are worse than last time and you all know how much I love beating myself up if I feel I didn’t meet my weird own standards. But I am trying to go with an open head and heart. I have set myself my two wee goals and the other bigger goal is simple to enjoy myself. I bought a GoPro camera so you are going to get some video action hopefully and the weather forecast isn’t looking too shabby. Maybe I will even believe I can ride following this holiday – here’s hoping huh?